Christmas Doesn’t Feel the Same Anymore

December had a certain charm that didn't need to be explained while I was growing up. When schools ended, bags were packed, and relatives started to arrive, the anticipation began well in advance of the actual day. You saw cousins in December that you hadn't seen all year. Laughter overflowing into the yard, sharing meals, loud houses, and late-night outdoor play were all part of it. It suggested effortless unity.

When we were kids, we didn't worry about petrol, food, or whether there would be enough for everyone. The adults silently bore that burden. All we had to do was turn up and have fun as you didn't plan Christmas, it just happened to you. We are the adults now and the economy has turned its back on us. Even the thought of December feels heavy because living expenses have increased to such an extent. Rent, transportation, food, debt, and school expenses don't stop during the holiday season. Long before December arrives, the year is already difficult for a lot of people. Christmas is a time of stress rather than relaxation. When you are barely getting by, how can you be festive?

Calculation takes the place of excitement. Anxiety takes the place of happiness. Instead of being a celebration of what you have, December turns into a reminder of what you cannot afford. The joyous atmosphere seems like a luxury, something only available to people who don't have to continuously choose between necessities.

This sensation is particularly intense in South Africa. The rate of unemployment is high. Pay is overstretched. Many households are providing for more individuals than they were intended to. The distance between what reality permits and what Christmas should look like continues getting bigger. Thus, people choose to withdraw emotionally. It's not that they don't care, but rather that caring is painful. It's simpler to avoid excitement than to experience disappointment. Treating Christmas like any other day is easier than facing what has been lost. When nostalgia collides with the present, it becomes unpleasant.

However, it is not gifts or decorations that we are truly mourning. We are grieving comfortably. We are a stress-free community in mourning. We are lamenting a period when happiness did not accompany bills. South Africa's situation has gotten worse, not because people have changed, but rather because circumstances have. Celebration finds it difficult to coexist with survival when it takes the stage.

But perhaps Christmas doesn't have to look as it did in the past. Perhaps it won't be loud, full, or plentiful. Perhaps it will be smaller, more subdued, and quieter. Perhaps joy will manifest itself in different ways, such as in rest rather than abundance or in presence rather than provision. Or perhaps this is just a time for sincere grief because it's acceptable to acknowledge that something that was once lovely now seems unattainable. Identifying that loss does not make us less appreciative rather it makes us honest. Christmas no longer feels the same. Perhaps the sorrow we experience is evidence that it once had a genuine meaning.